Bastardica makes cursed fonts: pick a base font and a mix-in, and it swaps in the second for every nth glyph — “Times New Roman but every 7th glyph is Arial, scaled 90%” — or stretches, squishes and jitters them. It abuses OpenType ligatures to do it, runs Python in WebAssembly entirely in your browser, and exports a working TTF, OTF or WOFF2. Presets include Nervous Sans and Royal Ransom Note.