Finds
- But I changed my mind I was going to get a brain transplant.
- Sometimes they need to draw blood Why do nurses carry around red crayons?
- You get what you deserve Today's dad joke
- Rotation of Earth Joke A dad joke that gets its whole effect from one idiom being literally true.
- Magic Tractor Joke A pun that hides in the word 'turned' until the last two words.
- Super calloused fragile mystic The longest walk to a pun on record
- Nobody raises an eyebrow Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
- Nep-tunes What kind of music do planets listen to?
- Grrrrrainnnnnssss What do vegetarian zombies eat?
- Right behind you Today's dad joke
- One or two Changing a light bulb at the optometrist's
- A complete guess The ninth letter of the alphabet
- He be lion Why did the feline fail the lie detector test?
- The gorilla wearing headphones A naming-convention pun that refuses to be one
- Never came to a full stop A punctuation joke that also passes as a driving joke
- Mass confusion Americans can't switch from pounds to kilograms overnight.
- They have nobody to go with Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating?
- They always quack the case Why do ducks make great detectives?
- In the riverbank Where do fish keep their money?
- The only known instance of a nick nack paddy wack A doll was recently found dead in a rice paddy.
- They will break up too soon Why can't eggs have love?
- It was framed Why was the picture sent to prison?
- I'm a cashew! What did one nut say as he chased another nut?
- Ground beef What do you call a cow with no legs?
- Between us, something smells What did the left eye say to the right eye?
- How do you fix a broken pizza? How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
- Elevator Joke A dad joke with its own rise and fall
- Glue Stick Joke A marital mix-up over makeup
- Milk in a Bag Joke One dad's stance on grocery bagging
- Pumpkin Patch Joke The fix for a damaged jack-o'-lantern
- Framed Picture Joke A four-word punchline that gets a picture convicted.
- Against the Grain Joke A dad joke that puts a dead idiom back next to its own ingredients.
- Coffee Mugged Joke A dad joke where the crime and the container turn out to be the same word.
- Lean Beef Joke A dad joke that turns a butcher's grading term into a description of posture.
- My Days Are Numbered Joke A dad joke about numbered days — a doctor's ominous idiom answered with a calendar's literal truth.
- Ghost fashion The dad joke about what ghosts wear on laundry day.
- The Karma café The dad joke about the restaurant with no menu.
- The 11:11 wish Making a midnight wish for timely repairs.
- An esteemed colleague A scientist's most heated partnership.
- Fresh prints Tracking down the Fresh Prince in winter weather.
- German kinder A lesson in comparative kindness.
- Keep an ion them Atomic advice for staying responsible.
- I'm a Believer Joke A one-line pun riffing on the Monkees' "I'm a Believer."
- Cat Meds Joke A one-line pun about a cat's medication.
- Stolen Mixer Joke A one-line pun about a stolen kitchen mixer.
- Broken Hearing Aid Joke A short setup-and-punchline pun about a hearing aid.
- E-Books Are Spineless Joke A one-line pun on e-books and spines.
- Sketchy Courtroom Artist Joke A one-line pun on a courtroom sketch artist.
- Unrealtor Joke A one-line pun on imaginary houses.
- Ariana Venti A dad joke about coffee sizes
- Tutus A dad joke about ballerinas and math
- Fed-Up A dad joke about shipping company mergers
- The explosive alphabet A fruit-alphabet setup with an explosive punchline.
- The shapely food-bank donation A pun about donating country-shaped cookies.
- The vandalized calendar A pun about losing the fifth month of the calendar.
- The Life Savers fortune A pun about the inventor of Life Savers candy.
- The website doctor A pun about the kind of doctor who fixes websites.
- The colorblind diagnosis A groaner about how a colorblindness diagnosis arrived.
- Why horses skip therapy A one-line groaner about why you never see horses in therapy.
- The orchestrated whale attack A groaner about who was behind the whale-watching boat catching fire.
- The wildlife hotline menu A groaner about the phone menu you get when you call the wildlife hotline.
- The 250-year-old yoghurt A groaner about what a yoghurt develops if you leave it alone for 250 years.
- R.I.P. boiled water A brief eulogy for boiled water.
- The Fourth of July beverage A Fourth of July pun about the drink of choice.
- George Washington's poultry counter-espionage A fake history fact about George Washington's chicken-based counter-espionage program.
- "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad" Joke The canonical dad joke.
- Orange / No It Doesn't Joke A short joke about a rhyming impossibility.
- Rotation of Earth Joke A short pun on Earth's rotation.
- Scarf and Hat Joke A short pun on hanging around.
- Spider Web Developer Joke A short pun about taking the spider out for drinks.
- Supermarket Checkout Divider Joke A short joke about the wedge bar at checkout.
- Whiteboards Are Remarkable Joke A short pun on the word remarkable.
- Annette Between Two Posts Joke A short pun on a girl's name and a net.
- Camo Jacket and Flip Flops Joke A short two-clothing-item joke that turns on a single twist.
- Grave Mistake Tombstone Joke A short single-word-pun joke about typos.
- Organ Donor Guts Joke A short medical pun.
- Pavlov in a Hotel Joke A short Pavlov joke.
- Popsicle Fallen Through Ice Joke A short pun about dads and ice.
- Square Root of -100 Joke A short math pun on complex numbers.
- Tennis Love Nothing Joke A short tennis-and-relationships pun.
- Trump Depends Joke A short brand-name pun.
- Vegan Family Bucket Joke A short pun about KFC and family.
- Cow Lightning Medium Rare Joke A short pun about lightning, statistics, and steak.
- The Final Front-Ear Joke Captain Kirk's three ears, by way of the show's opening narration.
- Garden Plot Thickens Joke A garden mystery with a literary punchline.
- Mortician and Electrician Joke A short pun on two unrelated professions sharing a workplace surprise.
- Moscow Russian Into Things Joke A pun about hastily deciding to move countries.
- Postmen Anagram Joke An anagram joke about the postal service.
- The Queue Silent-Letters Joke An etymology-flavoured pun about the spelling of 'queue'.
- The Shatner Panties Joke A two-line dad joke about Captain Kirk and the lingerie business.
- Suitcase Emotional Baggage Joke A short pun about cancelling vacation plans.
- Wind Turbines Metal Fan Joke Two wind turbines discuss their musical tastes.