r/dadjokes
Finds
- My Days Are Numbered Joke A dad joke about numbered days — a doctor's ominous idiom answered with a calendar's literal truth.
- E-Books Are Spineless Joke A one-line pun on e-books and spines.
- Unrealtor Joke A one-line pun on imaginary houses.
- Ariana Venti A dad joke about coffee sizes
- Tutus A dad joke about ballerinas and math
- Without a Tres A dad joke from r/dadjokes about a Mexican magician who vanishes 'without a tres.'
- Plethora A dad joke from r/dadjokes: a man's one-word funeral eulogy, 'plethora,' means a lot.
- Rare It Is A dad joke from r/dadjokes: a husband orders his steak done 'like winning an argument with my wife' — rare.
- Not Messi A dad joke from r/dadjokes: why Ronaldo never has to clean his room — because he's not Messi.
- Bison-tennial A dad joke from r/dadjokes about 200 years of roaming-cattle research landing on 'bison-tennial.'
- Four square meals A dad joke from r/dadjokes where a day of waffles, Cheez-Its, tofu, and brownies adds up to 'four square meals.'
- A satisfactory A dad joke from r/dadjokes turning 'a factory that makes okay products' into 'a satisfactory.'
- The balloon elephant A dad joke from r/dadjokes that doubles up 'pop' and 'trunk' into one elephant/balloon punchline.
- Affogato A dad joke from r/dadjokes that turns the coffee drink name 'affogato' into 'a-forgot-o.'
- Duck, eggs! A one-panel dad joke from r/dadjokes that turns on whether a farm sign's comma reads as a label or a warning.
- Jacuzzi vs. yakuza A dad joke from r/dadjokes built on the near-homophones 'jacuzzi' and 'yakuza.'
- An orchestrated attack A dad joke from r/dadjokes about being hit by three instruments, with the punchline landing on 'orchestrated.'
- The explosive alphabet A fruit-alphabet setup with an explosive punchline.
- The shapely food-bank donation A pun about donating country-shaped cookies.
- The vandalized calendar A pun about losing the fifth month of the calendar.
- The website doctor A pun about the kind of doctor who fixes websites.
- Why horses skip therapy A one-line groaner about why you never see horses in therapy.
- The orchestrated whale attack A groaner about who was behind the whale-watching boat catching fire.
- The wildlife hotline menu A groaner about the phone menu you get when you call the wildlife hotline.
- The 250-year-old yoghurt A groaner about what a yoghurt develops if you leave it alone for 250 years.
- The Fourth of July beverage A Fourth of July pun about the drink of choice.
- George Washington's poultry counter-espionage A fake history fact about George Washington's chicken-based counter-espionage program.
- Can I have a bookmark? Eleven years old and he still doesn't know my name
- Camo Jacket and Flip Flops Joke A short two-clothing-item joke that turns on a single twist.
- Grave Mistake Tombstone Joke A short single-word-pun joke about typos.
- Pavlov in a Hotel Joke A short Pavlov joke.
- Square Root of -100 Joke A short math pun on complex numbers.
- Tennis Love Nothing Joke A short tennis-and-relationships pun.
- Trump Depends Joke A short brand-name pun.
- Vegan Family Bucket Joke A short pun about KFC and family.
- Cow Lightning Medium Rare Joke A short pun about lightning, statistics, and steak.
- The Final Front-Ear Joke Captain Kirk's three ears, by way of the show's opening narration.
- Mortician and Electrician Joke A short pun on two unrelated professions sharing a workplace surprise.
- Postmen Anagram Joke An anagram joke about the postal service.
- The Shatner Panties Joke A two-line dad joke about Captain Kirk and the lingerie business.
- Suitcase Emotional Baggage Joke A short pun about cancelling vacation plans.
- Wind Turbines Metal Fan Joke Two wind turbines discuss their musical tastes.
- The Burger King and Dairy Queen Joke A fast-food monarchy joke about contraception.
- The Chinese Lightbulb Joke A pun about durable Chinese lightbulbs.
- The Harp Discount Joke A musical pun about discount harps and connections.
- The Magician's Pear Joke A magician's misdirection — and a fruit complaint.
- The Microscope and the Telescope Joke A one-line dad joke about an unfortunate optical accident.
- The Viking Without a Boat Joke A one-letter word swap involving a Viking with a navigation problem.
- The Tall Order Joke An idiom-pun joke whose punchline is also literally true about the Eiffel Tower.
- The Einstein, Newton, and Pascal Joke Three physicists, three counting strategies, one chalk square.
- The Khakis Joke A two-cities setup that runs the same word through two American accents and lands two different meanings.
- The Mortgage Freeman Joke A two-line celebrity-pun joke that lands the moment you read the punchline.
- The Pea, Lemon, and Potato Joke A shaggy-dog joke about three vegetables leaving a bar that earns its punchline through the differential rolling behaviour of legumes, citrus, and tubers.
- The Soap Opera Joke The kind of two-line groaner that earns a delayed grimace once the genre name lands.
- The Scenter Joke A short anatomical pun about the nose's position on the face.
- The Tom Hanks Autograph Joke A one-letter-off pun on a famous actor's name.
- The Emineminence Joke An honorific for a hypothetically-knighted Marshall Mathers.
- The Tinder Matches Joke A dad-joke pun about a profile photo and dating apps.
- The Wee Cough Joke A whispered call to the boss with an extremely Scottish punchline.
- The Self-Anesthesia Joke Knock yourself out
- The Paranormal Jeans Joke What kind of pants does a ghost hunter wear?
- The Pi Arthritis Joke On a 1-to-10 pain scale: pi