icanhazdadjoke
Finds
- Raisin Awareness A dad joke
- Two Counts A dad joke
- The Batroom A dad joke
- Greatest Hits A dad joke
- A Little Shaken A dad joke
- Too Much on My Plate A dad joke
- Dying to Get In A dad joke
- Little Plaque A dad joke
- Pointless A dad joke
- Sneakers A dad joke
- Six Months Each A dad joke
- It Deep Ends A dad joke
- Seven Up A dad joke
- Bedtime A dad joke
- Archaeology A dad joke
- Hoover A dad joke
- How many apples grow on a tree A dad joke
- Fastest growing city A dad joke
- Wedding cake A dad joke
- Cross-eyed teacher A dad joke
- Meeting like this A dad joke
- Sore arms A dad joke
- A Fsh A dad joke
- Lots of Training A dad joke
- Incomplete A dad joke
- Cantaloupe A dad joke
- Jarring A dad joke
- Sunday School A dad joke
- Can't Put It Down A dad joke
- Sage Advice A dad joke
- Cooked in Greece A dad joke
- A Whim Away A dad joke
- A Study in Procrastination A dad joke
- It's About Tine A dad joke
- A Hunch About the Layoffs A dad joke
- The Baa-Baa Shop A dad joke
- A Female Snake A dad joke
- I Don't Know Y A dad joke
- Nice Jester A dad joke
- Cellophane A dad joke
- Too Far Out A dad joke
- Press Your Luck A dad joke
- Egg-cercise A dad joke
- A Sandwich, Poof A dad joke
- An Alligator in a Vest A dad joke
- But I changed my mind I was going to get a brain transplant.
- Sometimes they need to draw blood Why do nurses carry around red crayons?
- You get what you deserve Today's dad joke
- Rotation of Earth Joke A dad joke that gets its whole effect from one idiom being literally true.
- Magic Tractor Joke A pun that hides in the word 'turned' until the last two words.
- Super calloused fragile mystic The longest walk to a pun on record
- Nobody raises an eyebrow Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.
- Nep-tunes What kind of music do planets listen to?
- Grrrrrainnnnnssss What do vegetarian zombies eat?
- Right behind you Today's dad joke
- One or two Changing a light bulb at the optometrist's
- A complete guess The ninth letter of the alphabet
- He be lion Why did the feline fail the lie detector test?
- The gorilla wearing headphones A naming-convention pun that refuses to be one
- Never came to a full stop A punctuation joke that also passes as a driving joke
- Mass confusion Americans can't switch from pounds to kilograms overnight.
- They have nobody to go with Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating?
- They always quack the case Why do ducks make great detectives?
- In the riverbank Where do fish keep their money?
- The only known instance of a nick nack paddy wack A doll was recently found dead in a rice paddy.
- They will break up too soon Why can't eggs have love?
- It was framed Why was the picture sent to prison?
- I'm a cashew! What did one nut say as he chased another nut?
- Ground beef What do you call a cow with no legs?
- Between us, something smells What did the left eye say to the right eye?
- How do you fix a broken pizza? How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
- Can February march? A dad joke from icanhazdadjoke: two months doubling as verbs, in a single seven-word exchange.
- The Eight-Character Password A pun about counting the characters in a password requirement.
- Elevator Joke A dad joke with its own rise and fall
- Glue Stick Joke A marital mix-up over makeup
- Milk in a Bag Joke One dad's stance on grocery bagging
- Pumpkin Patch Joke The fix for a damaged jack-o'-lantern
- Framed Picture Joke A four-word punchline that gets a picture convicted.
- Against the Grain Joke A dad joke that puts a dead idiom back next to its own ingredients.
- Coffee Mugged Joke A dad joke where the crime and the container turn out to be the same word.
- Lean Beef Joke A dad joke that turns a butcher's grading term into a description of posture.
- Ghost fashion The dad joke about what ghosts wear on laundry day.
- The Karma café The dad joke about the restaurant with no menu.
- The 11:11 wish Making a midnight wish for timely repairs.
- An esteemed colleague A scientist's most heated partnership.
- Fresh prints Tracking down the Fresh Prince in winter weather.
- German kinder A lesson in comparative kindness.
- Keep an ion them Atomic advice for staying responsible.
- Aware wolf A dad joke from icanhazdadjoke: a careful wolf is an 'aware wolf' — said aloud, a werewolf pun.
- Feline well A dad joke from icanhazdadjoke: a sick cat isn't 'feline well' — a near-homophone pun on 'feeling.'
- Hands down A dad joke from icanhazdadjoke: 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down — literally.
- Thanks for all the sediment A dad joke from icanhazdadjoke: the ocean thanks the beach for all the sediment — a pun on 'sentiment.'
- Shakespeare A dad joke from icanhazdadjoke: a nervous javelin thrower is 'Shakespeare' — his own name literally shakes a spear.
- I'm a Believer Joke A one-line pun riffing on the Monkees' "I'm a Believer."
- Cat Meds Joke A one-line pun about a cat's medication.
- Stolen Mixer Joke A one-line pun about a stolen kitchen mixer.
- Broken Hearing Aid Joke A short setup-and-punchline pun about a hearing aid.
- Sketchy Courtroom Artist Joke A one-line pun on a courtroom sketch artist.
- Fed-Up A dad joke about shipping company mergers
- Well armed A pun with eight limbs
- Shellfish On crustacean generosity
- Lemonaid A pun about giving a sick lemon 'lemonaid' instead of lemonade.
- Reptile dysfunction A pun about a chameleon that can't change color, playing on 'reptile dysfunction.'
- Chick-Fil-Eyyy A dad joke from icanhazdadjoke: where Fonzie goes for lunch — Chick-Fil-Eyyy.
- Against the grain A dad joke from icanhazdadjoke about gluten-avoiders 'going against the grain.'
- Origami assignment A one-liner from icanhazdadjoke about an origami assignment, playing on 'turned my paper in.'
- The Life Savers fortune A pun about the inventor of Life Savers candy.
- The colorblind diagnosis A groaner about how a colorblindness diagnosis arrived.
- R.I.P. boiled water A brief eulogy for boiled water.
- Boa constructor A wholesome, immediately gettable homophone pun about a snake who builds houses for a living.
- Orca-stra A one-beat pun about a group of killer whales playing instruments together in an orca-stra.
- The Cheese Factory Joke A cheese pun about a French explosion.
- The Dog Whistle Joke A trick-question pun about dog whistles.
- The E.T. Joke A pun about what E.T. is short for.
- The Keyboard Factory Joke A workplace pun about keyboard shifts.
- The Left Side Joke A pun about being all right.
- The Pumpkin Joke A pun about why pumpkins sit on porches.
- The Seagull Joke A classic pun about seagulls and bays.
- The Driving Test Joke A grammar pun about full stops.
- The Soft Drink Joke A pun about a soft drink to the head.
- "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad" Joke The canonical dad joke.
- Orange / No It Doesn't Joke A short joke about a rhyming impossibility.
- Rotation of Earth Joke A short pun on Earth's rotation.
- Scarf and Hat Joke A short pun on hanging around.
- Spider Web Developer Joke A short pun about taking the spider out for drinks.
- Supermarket Checkout Divider Joke A short joke about the wedge bar at checkout.
- Whiteboards Are Remarkable Joke A short pun on the word remarkable.
- Annette Between Two Posts Joke A short pun on a girl's name and a net.
- Organ Donor Guts Joke A short medical pun.
- Popsicle Fallen Through Ice Joke A short pun about dads and ice.
- Garden Plot Thickens Joke A garden mystery with a literary punchline.
- Moscow Russian Into Things Joke A pun about hastily deciding to move countries.
- The Queue Silent-Letters Joke An etymology-flavoured pun about the spelling of 'queue'.
- The Plain Bagel Joke A short food-pun about aerodynamic baked goods.
- The Brazilian Lightbulb Joke A lightbulb joke about counting in Portuguese.
- The Broken Pizza Joke A pizza-repair pun about adhesive paste.
- The Playground Slide Joke A classic chicken-crossing-the-road update for the playground generation.
- The Least Spoken Language Joke A linguistic technicality.
- The Loud Television Joke A classified ad with built-in punchline.
- The Broken Finger Joke A one-sentence injury report that doubles as a perfect setup-and-payoff structure.
- The Clock Joke A two-line eat-the-clock pun that tells you exactly what kind of joke it is in the punchline.
- The Ballpark Figure Joke Stadium capacity meets the idiom for an estimate.
- The Beaver and the Tree It's been nice gnawing you
- The Step Ladder Joke I never knew my real ladder
- The Velcro Rip-Off Joke I wouldn't buy anything with velcro